‘Fat Princess’ Angers Fat Feminists

While at the E3 press conference, this Bastard reporter was delighted to see a new twist in video gaming:  ‘Fat Princess’.

Seattle’s Dark Star Industries is releasing ‘Fat Princess’ on Sony’s PlayStation.

This comical cartoon style game tells the story of a thin princess who gets kidnapped and is then force fed sweets until she’s so obese she can barely move.

So, what’s all the fuss about?  Enter the feminists.

These women, who most likely are extremely overweight themselves because they’ve never met a piece of cake they didn’t like, or couldn’t eat just a few greasy potato chips and devoured the entire bag in one sitting while drinking an entire two liter of diet soda (as if the ‘diet‘ makes a real difference), or can’t pass up an all you can eat buffet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, or can’t pass a fast food joint without ordering at least $40 worth of ass fattening garbage then gulping it down in three bites while driving and not paying attention to the road, are throwing a complete and utter bitch fit about the alleged hostility the game has toward large women.

In my opinion, where were these feminist bitches when the story of Hansel & Gretel was released?  Why didn’t they throw a bitch fest about the two children, a little boy and a little girl, who were stuffed with sweets until they almost burst so the nasty old witch could bake them up and eat them?

Why didn’t they get angry about the childhood obesity in this story?  Why didn’t they get angry about the cannibalistic aspect of the story?

And last but not least, why the hell aren’t they pissed off at all the fat ass heifers who continually stuff themselves until they’re almost dead day after day, night after night?

You don’t see men getting angry and lashing out when someone uses a fat guy for commercials, books, or video games.

Men don’t give a damn.  So why should women?

Answer:  Men just fluff it off and have a good hardy laugh about the situation.  Life goes on and everybody’s easy going and happily content.

Some women, on the other hand, have nothing better to do with their pathetic boring ass lives than to knit pick every goddamn little thing, between snacking and shoveling food into their oversized jowls while watching Jerry Springer, that comes their way and find the teensy tiniest offending bit and throw a huge conniption about it.

To these women I say, “Get your fat ass off the sofa, stop being such a lazy bitch and inhaling huge amounts of unhealthy foods, thin down and be happy!”

This Bastard reporter looks forward to playing ‘Fat Princess’.  And should the game makers decide to make a sequel entitled ‘Fat Prince’, I shall look forward to playing that one as well.


3 Responses to “‘Fat Princess’ Angers Fat Feminists”

  1. They are ALWAYS drinking diet soda! It’s funny because it’s true!

  2. irritatedtulsan Says:

    Are these Wal-Mart shoppers?

  3. The “diet” in diet soda DOES make a difference – diet soda has no calories, vs. at least 100 in a regular soda. There may be a correlation between consuming diet soda and obesity, but correlation does not mean causation. [Like the correlation between the number of bars and the number of churches in any given city. The more of one, the more of the other. Neither actually affects the other, but both are increased by high populations.]

    In this case, the correlation is probably there because too many people who drink diet soda think that since they’re “doing something” about their weight, they can eat whatever they want. Or because it whets their appetites for sweets. Or both.

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