Billionaire Dogs Beware!

This Bastard reporter received a rather disturbing phone call last evening.

Disturbing because I was 20 minutes into my favorite television show when the phone rang.

As I do not have cable or satellite because of their exorbitant prices, I was unable to pause my program, and therefore missed the cliff hanger ending.

Goddamn it!

However, the call was important, and it’s a good thing I answered.

On the line was none other than Diane Sue Whalen’s son with a new twist to his Mother’s bestiality scene.

He gave me her number and told me to get the full story myself.

The following is what I managed to piece together from notes of our conversation:

Deceased billionaire Leona Helmsley has left $12 million to her beloved Maltese, Trouble, in a trust fund.

Well, she’d certainly be rolling in her grave if she knew that Donald Roy Siegfried and Diane Sue Whalen had planned to pose as pet groomers and use the opportunity to seduce Trouble.

Diane told this Bastard reporter that the plan would’ve gone down as such:

They would make advertising available to the caretaker of Trouble, Leona’s brother Alvin Rosenthal, whom she also left untold millions.

They would make certain to have the lowest bid price, so they could be hired on the spot.

They would take Trouble back to their place and begin spoiling the pup with love and food.

From there, they would entice the dog with sexual acts and gain her affections completely.

Once they have done this for several months, the dog will have fallen completely head over paws for the couple.

Trouble will only want to be around Don and Di and will miss them and cry and whimper terribly when they are not around.

This of course means that Don and Di will have to be around continuously to make Trouble happy, as stipulated by Leona’s will.

Don and Di will move into the estate and begin having their every want and desire met, as well as unlimited doggie passion.

They would instantly have access to Trouble’s millions and a fabulous life in the dog lap of luxury.

There you have it.

This Bastard reporter is once again sickened.  I hope you are as well.

If you are not, then you are obviously a dog fucker and should be strung up by the balls or clitoris, respectively.

*Update:  For new info about the dog’s recovery after these two sick perverts…click here:  “Sex Dogs to be Rehabilitated“.

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