The Snoggle-Bo-Dobble

This Bastard reporter long ago stored away a short story written by a very talented and creative person:  ME.

And, as it has been a slow day for news, and, as I am certainly in favor of showing off excellent work to the entire world, I am therefore publishing my masterpiece.

This story is wonderful for children.  Print it off and read it to your child tonight at bedtime.

I give you:

The Snoggle-Bo-Dobble
Written by:  Me

Uncle told a story.  Who knows if it’s true?  But as soon as he finished, Daddy said, “Be good little girls or the Snoggle-Bo-Dobble will get you!”

A little while later, with friends all around, it was dark and quiet, there wasn’t a sound.

The stories began, and the children all shook. The stories they told could have come from a book.

“There’s no such thing as a Snoggle-Bo-Dobble, “said Brianna Elizabeth, as far as she knew.

Then Emily Grace chimed in, “Brianna Elizabeth, I have a story, too!  And, it’s true!  It’s true!”

They sat on the ground, and drew in real close.  They all wanted to hear Emily’s story the most.  For she had once seen the Snoggle-Bo-Dobble, and was lucky to be here to chill, wiggle, and wobble.

Brianna shook her head, and Gary made a giggle.  “O.k.,” she said to Emily, “Let’s hear all this dribble.”

“It’s true!  It’s true!,” began Emily Grace.  “He was at least 10 feet tall, and had a green face!  He was flat as a pancake, and had one great big eye. It was bigger than me!  I wanted to cry!”

The children all gasped.  Gary Lee covered his head.  But, Brianna just sighed, saying, “You dreamed that in bed!  The Snoggle-Bo-Dobble was just a nightmare!”

Now Gary was so frightened he started pulling his hair.

Melissa let out a laugh, to try and cover her fear.  “Tell us some more,” she said.  “Where did he come from?  Did he come here?”

Emily looked to the ground, then into her face, “He comes from a land quite far from this place.  He flies through the night on wings that are gold.  He comes to kids’ houses whenever lies are told.”

Brianna jumped up real fast, with her hands on her hips.  She stomped her foot and pursed her lips. “Well were is he then?  With you telling this lie!  He should swoop down and get you!  Swoop down from the sky!”

“Stop it, Brianna!,” Gary yelped out in fear.

“Yes,” Melissa Christine jumped in, “we want to hear!”

“Fine!  I’ll sit and I’ll listen,” Brianna began.  “Even though this is silly!  I guess I can!”

“The Snoggle-Bo-Dobble,” said Emily, “takes kids who tell dirty lies.”

“Then he should come after you,” said Brianna.  “This story’s covered in flies!”

Gary gave Brianna a look sharp as glass.  “What else, Emily?,” he asked, from his spot in the grass.

“He has two great big arms and his body’s all furry.  His teeth are real sharp, so he can eat in a hurry.  His mouth’s really big and his ears are real tall, his legs are all short and his nose is quite small.”

Brianna rolled her eyes and let out a sigh.  “And you believe in all this? I just don’t see why!  Emily tells you this nonsense and you all believe. I’m telling you now, it’s for your parents I grieve.  When they all find out someday very soon, that your brains are all mush and you’re as crazed as a loon!”

“Oh, hush, Brianna!,” Melissa spat out.  “I believe what she says.  I haven’t a doubt.”

“So do I!,” yelped Gary.  “It’s got to be true!  How else could she tell what he looks like to you?”

Up like a flash, Brianna jumped from her spot.  “I’ll make you see the truth with one simple thought!  If the Snoggle-Bo-Dobble did come one night, how then, Emily, did you escape from his sight?”

They looked to Emily, their eyebrows up high.  They looked quite puzzled as they wondered why.  Why that night did the Snoggle-Bo-Dobble not take her away?  Why they wondered did he let Emily stay?

“He didn’t want me.  I’m not who he was after.  That’s why he didn’t drag me to ‘The Place of No Laughter’.”

“What on earth is that?,” Brianna squawked at her.  “This fairytale just keeps growing bigger and bigger!”

“It’s a far off place,” said Emily. “Past where the sun sets.  It’s a place you’d never want to go.  On that I’ll make you bets!”

“And in this place I did hear, is everything that we all fear.  It’s where he keeps you locked away.  You never laugh.  You never play.  Locked in a cage until the day, he decides you’re dinner and whisks you away.  And before he eats you this he’ll ask…”

“Do you know why?,” a loud booming voice behind Brianna did cry.

Brianna slowly turned around to look.  The others only stared and shook.

“Because you told a lie,” said the Snoggle-Bo-Dobble.

Extremely well written, wouldn’t you agree?  I am very proud.

This Bastard reporter’s day has ended on an extremely high note.


3 Responses to “The Snoggle-Bo-Dobble”

  1. irritatedtulsan Says:

    Great story. I can’t wait to give my niece nightmares.

  2. Hellcat Says:

    Love it! That should scare the little shits straight!

  3. I got interested party – I’ll check back often, I wanted to say hello

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