NASA/Japan/Toby Keith Plot Revealed

Space Shuttle Discovery docked with the International Space Station Monday to deliver what NASA and Japan have labeled the ‘Kibo Laboratory’.

This great new scientific achievement has been announced world wide as one of mankind’s distinct stepping stones on the way back to the moon and beyond.

However, this Bastard reporter was shocked to learn in secret from a top NASA Official that the Kibo Laboratory story is a cover up of huge proportions. In fact, there is no laboratory at all.

With the absolute first coverage of this soon to be epic scandal, Such a Bastard now brings you the truth behind the Discovery mission.

“It’s Toby Keith,” said the NASA Official. “That restaurant tycoon is at it again.”

When asked to clarify his statement, he continued with this true but ludicrous explanation:

“The Japanese have long been a fan of Toby’s restaurant chain, ‘I Love this Bar & Grill’.

“Some how, some way, he managed to weasel himself into the meetings with top Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency Heads and laid down some high priced stock and a lot of free dinners.

“They all agreed to work in secret and build Toby’s new restaurant chain: ‘Fat Toby’s Galactic Grill’.”

When I questioned him further as to why the Japanese would do such a thing and make up such an outlandish cover story of a laboratory, our secret official had this to say:

“From what I’ve learned, the Japanese and Toby are in an agreement to corner the market on space recreation and tourism.

“They intended to be, and are at this moment, the very first franchisee company in outer space.

“Once the new Galactic Suites Space Hotel is opened to the paying public in 2009, Toby and the Japanese will make billions with their gourmet burgers and unique alcoholic beverages.”

When this Bastard reporter asked if NASA was completely oblivious to this deal, as they are in many other situations, this was the response:

“Hell no. Are you kidding? Toby’s given them a humongous amount of hush money.

“The current Administration in the White House has screwed up the funding of the entire country to the extreme.

“That put the hurt on NASA. They lost billions in funding to the war effort.

“Toby offered them a way out of the red ink.”

There were no further questions.

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